Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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