Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize