If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
