Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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