I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
