She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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