I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
