note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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