You really coming over, don't trick.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
