DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
