dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
