garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
