I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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