woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize