Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
