the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
