I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
