Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
