careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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