Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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