you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
