You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
There's even glitter on my cock...
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