"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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