fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
