Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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