you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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