I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
