Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize