i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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