I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
