North Korea, Best Korea!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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