If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
