the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
