Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
