He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
