hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
