I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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