I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
