You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
