i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize