I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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