I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
