I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
