So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
