ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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