i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
