last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
