Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
