im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
