I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
