i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
