Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
