Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize