I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
