Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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