Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
