She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
