i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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