it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
