the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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