Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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