why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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