walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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