He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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